The most exciting thing at Etro, which opened at Palladium yesterday evening, is the carpet. Bright orange with a strip of pink sizzling through it, this rug is more reminiscent of the Italian brand’s bright luxury than most of the merchandise at the store.

Watching the Pink Dry

We went on launch night, when the little store was transformed into a zoo of men in pink pants and ladies in Louboutin, paparazzi and PR professionals, Harman Baweja and other has-beens. Weaving through the wilting crowd, we searched desperately for something to fall in love with, mostly in vain.

Men will have easier pickings (don’t they always!) with most of the store dedicated to them. The most covetable pieces: intricately carved gold face cuff links, multi-coloured bow tie, and a sassy blue suede fedora that deserves its own Presley song. What put a cap on it was also that at Rs 8,500, it was the cheapest item we found at the store. 

There were, however, many more misses than hits, oscillating between stiflingly staid (plaid and leather sneakers, a thinly striped cotton sweater, navy polo tees) to ridiculously outlandish, even for the most metro-retro-hetero (or not) men: black belt with bright gold kairi buckle (there was also a diamond brooch in the same shape which worked a little better); insect cuff links, silk jacket with paisley print and bright magenta lining.

Suitcase Suffrage

The paisley print, which Etro has used before much more successfully, also climbs onto luggage and women’s accessories including leather handbags and double-sided scarves. Other than those, girls will have to make do with a handful of sad necklaces and a few chain link totes, some of which are actually pretty hip but not worth the price tag at Rs 75,000 and up.

Bottom Lines

In a nutshell, Etro India seems like a dumping ground for the brand’s worst merchandise and is not worth visiting unless you have five minutes to kill before the valet brings your car, or a serious penchant for carpets.

Getting there: Etro, Palladium Mall, High Street Phoenix, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel, Rs 8,500 for a hat.