If you go into Fort Bizzare looking for a weird, and well, bizarre experience, you’re going to be disappointed – the restaurant is as banal as they come, menu (Indian), music (Whitney Houston and Stevie Wonder) mood (quasi-rural) and all. But if you have a hankering for some good, down-to-earth naan and paneer before running back to the office, this is the place for you.

New Restaurant, Old Chandeliers

Situated at the cusp of Khala Ghoda and the financial district, Fort Bizzare has the advantage of a great location in a busy area. The space itself is divided into three main areas: dining sections on the ground and first floor, and a bar. Of these, the bar area is the nicest, mostly because of the big windows that allow sunshine into the otherwise dingy space, which is embellished with dusty old bottles, dilapidated chandeliers, dark wood furniture and old fans. Cliched, and not terribly pretty.

Starters to Finish

Thankfully, the kitchen staff here is more adept than the interior designer, sending out coriander and yoghurt coated baby potatoes that are so tender that they fall apart at the touch of a fork, spicy tandoori mushrooms, soft paneer tikka and strange cottage cheese rolls that taste overwhelmingly of cardamom. If you’re a carnivore, go straight for the mutton seekh kebabs, lemony and tender.

Balance out the standard Dal Makhani and passable chicken tandoori with a dish of sautéed spinach, which comes loaded with garlic and is a lot better than it sounds. Both your taste buds and your doctor will be happy. Mop this up with crisp missi roti or the Special Fort Bizzare Waroi Paratha, an airy, multi-layered lachcha much lighter and more interesting than a butter naan.

Broke Our Hearts, But Not the Bank

Our plans of a firni-induced happy ending were hopelessly dashed by a waiter who informed us that the dessert, one of three on the menu, was not available. We comforted ourselves instead with the colourful selection of mouth freshners that arrived in a tacky silver khazana box along with the bill, the amount on which wasn’t too sweet nor too bitter, but just right.

Getting there: Fort Bizzare, 105 Apollo Street, near Lion Gate, Fort, call 65151010/2020, Rs 800 for a meal for two, no alcohol included.